Happy birthday, Mom!

Dear Mom,

On the day we celebrate your entrance into the world some odd years ago, I thought I'd say "Happy Birthday!" by penning a few words of thanksgiving for the great mom that you are... in the style of Jimmy Fallon's thank you notes... Dad, you can thank me later ;)

Thank you for painfully birthing me into this world three days before your own birthday. Surprise... Best birthday present EVER. You're welcome!

Thank you for that mullet hair cut when I was in 10th grade... it was allll the rage at school.

Thank you for putting me and the sisters in matching outfits as children and then documenting it for future generations to witness:

Thank you for tricking me into always cleaning the bathroom as a kid by telling me that I was the only one that cleaned it right. You're good.

Thank you for the detailed cooking lessons: "I don't measure... Just put a little bit of this and a little bit of that and just a pinch of this."

Thank you for teaching patience and endurance by making me and Alex move heavy furniture across the room as you supervised, just to move it back because you didn't like it in the new spot. Thanks for also, affectionately calling us beasts.

Thank you for giving me my first black eye by throwing a comb at my head across the room when we wouldn't be quiet during that important phone call... It sparked a desire to be a social worker and help other children. (Just kidding about that last sentence... I have no recollection of this event, but it has been a funny story to tell over the years.)

Thank you for letting me go to church after the aforementioned comb-throw, so that I could tell the first person that asked that my mommy gave me the black eye with a comb. I hope the parenting classes were at least helpful haha. (Oh and thank you to CPS for taking me out of that unsafe home, but leaving my three sisters behind... You do good work.)

Thank you for the laughs you gave us when you shared your "how to take a selfie" process and for the time you believed me when I told you that Olivia was meeting with the Army Recruiter and for all the other silly things we've been able to make you believe.

Thank you for honestly, albeit harshly, discouraging my singing career by telling me to shut up BE QUIET all the time.

Thank you for giving us permission to do things while you were half-asleep that you normally wouldn't have agreed to if you'd been awake. Thank you for forgetting that you gave us permission once you woke up. And lastly on the topic, thank you for being the one we'd go to when we were afraid Dad would say no... You always said "yes"... or "ask your Dad". :/

Thank you for teaching me how to stick my nose in a book and drown out the world. It's proved to be a useful skill in this crazy world. (Actually, I wholeheartedly mean this one.)

Thank you for unknowingly giving me my first sip of alcohol by having me bring you your "Diet Coke" from the other room, but forgetting to mention that you'd already put Rum in it. Nasty Buzzard.

Thank you for the deep, thought-provoking advice you gave when I was arguing with friends: You don't need friends.

Thank you for teaching me how to do laundry; "dump everything in cold water and you're good to go." For the record, I still do laundry using this method... even though you deny teaching me this way.

No thank you's for making me lotion/massage your feet/back, eat my vegetables, or give you insulin shots...


On a more serious note:

I love you, Rose Marie.

You are so rad. I'm lucky to have you for a mother.

Thank you for keeping us alive, dressed, and fed for all those years. Thank you for being one of my biggest supporters and for loving my dad (and for wearing cool outfits while doing it).

I hope I'm as good a mother as you are... and I hope I have a daughter three days before my birthday so that she'll be my favorite child too.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Love your moody girl,

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