12.08.2014

Emma Lee

My dear grandmother passed away today and there are a million thoughts swirling around in my head and feelings weighing on my heart. I came here in hopes of getting them all out. So this post might not have any rhyme or reason to it, but I hope it's as cathartic as I'm needing.


I know that since a couple of bites in a garden long ago, these lives... Our lives have never been meant to last forever... Our fragile, human hearts are just not programmed to beat forever. And I know that Death is just an ugly companion of Life and no matter how hard you try, you can't very well get one without the other.

Now, you'd think that knowing and understanding that would help Death become an easier pill to swallow. But that's just not the case... Knowing that Death is no respecter of person or time doesn't make a visit from him any easier.

It still sucks.

It still sucks even knowing that Gram got eighty-seven trips around the sun, which is more than a ton of people are given. It still sucks even knowing that Gram had a long, beautiful life filled with all the good things that money just can't buy. It still sucks even knowing that Gram was no stranger to the Lord.

You still grieve.

I'm grieving for the generations to come that will not know Emma Lee in all of her stubborn glory. I am grieving for the lessons that they won't learn firsthand from her... Like how absolutely important it is to turn off all electronics and sit still during a storm, because... or how your feet belong on the floor, not her couch, and if you disagree, you can go get her a switch from the bush yourself... Or how important it is to be faithful to church and how your time is best spent peering out of a window at a passing car or kneeling at your bedside in prayer or watching daytime soaps. I'm grieving for a future without my grandmother.

I love you, Emma Lee, and I will miss you until I see you again.


2 comments:

  1. No amount of knowledge about how someone lived a full life or are in heaven helps you feel better right away. Grieving takes time. My condolences on losing her.

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